Thursday, June 19, 2008

Chain reaction.

Because Madeline turned 6 months old in May we started feeding her smooshed baby food.
Because we started feeding Madeline smooshed baby food she wasn't nursing as often.
Because Madeline wasn't nursing as often my boobs weren't making as much milk as they used to make.
Because my boobs weren't making as much milk as they used to make my hormones were adjusting accordingly.
Because my hormones were adjusting accordingly, for the first time in 510 days, for the first time since January 2007, for the first time in nearly a year and a half... I got my period.

Darn it.

18 comments:

Jenn Ann said...

If only we were all so lucky...

Hmmm 510 days...I wonder if I beat that...

Kat said...

I think that means it is time to get pregnant again =)

Ann said...

I can beat that...I haven't had mine in 5 years!

Marla said...

trust me....u are very fertile right now!!!! :)

Queen B said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Queen B said...

OK, I know this is going to be a long comment (from an email forward), but I can't resist...

This is an actual letter from an Austin , Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features.. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!

The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'

Are you ****ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best, Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX

Sarah B. said...

Isn't that the worst! Welcome back.

Jinjer said...

Congrats on Aunt Flo in one way, and in another way, that totally sucks! QB - an F16 in my pocket?? LMAO!

Vicky said...

Wow- that is better than me! I was back on the tide in oh three months no matter what.

Thanks for commenting on my blog!

ToFishTeacher said...

Even though Dominic has been eating solids for nearly 3 months now, he still has quite an appetite for nursing! As of this comment, I'm going on 553 days. I keep wondering if it's ever coming back, but then I catch myself and just keep repeating "maybe next week... heheheh"

Ann said...

"there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory"

I'm still laughing at this line!

Don Mills Diva said...

Yup - that's exactly how it happened to me.

And the weird thing was the day I got my period he turned away and refused to nurse...

Jenn Ann said...

OMG I'm DYING laughing QB. Wow Ann, you are the winner!

Bianka, just get pregnant again. Maddie told me that she wants to be a big sister!

Jenn Ann said...

OMG I'm DYING laughing QB. Wow Ann, you are the winner!

Bianka, just get pregnant again. Maddie told me that she wants to be a big sister!

Kim Thomas said...

I don't think I am going to make 365 days.....

Jane: a female given name of English origin said...

darn it is right.

Cause and reaction.........

KFuj said...

I was 6 years without a period, I just recetly started again, and hate every month of it!!

Paula said...

yup, I miss the flo-less days!