A couple of years ago I was tuned into the blogging world by my cousin when she had me read an entry at dooce.com. I have been a fan ever since. The author is very candid about her life and her feelings. She is part of the inspiration behind my own blog. She has a daughter that is probably now almost 4 years old, and every single month she writes a letter to her daughter mostly talking about the girls milestones.
It seems like such a good idea that I am going to start that tradition myself. Madeline has only been in this world a month, but so much has happened that I would hate to forget even one second. Maybe some day Madeline will read these letters and have a laugh or two, and remember how much her Daddy and I love her.
You have acquired so many names in your short life so far! Peanut, munchkin, pumpkin, goofy, wiggle worm, miss pickle, bean, stinky baby, baby girl, etc. etc. Boris thinks you are scary baby. They all mean the same thing, though. We love you!
You are learning to hold your head up. When I hold you against my chest your head wiggles and bobs around a bit until you get it steady.. then you just gaze around the room. You like to look at squares.. windows, picture frames, curtains, shelves, boxes. If it's got 4 corners, your eyes are glued to it!
So far, the biggest challenge for me has been breast feeding you. I have wanted to give up so many times, but I am so thankful I didn't! I had a hard time in the first week with holding you correctly. I was in so very much pain because of that, it made you not latch on correctly and I got bruises and blisters. Ouch! Anyway, that problem was solved and things finally started to get better, you now have thrush. Now that's making me sore again! It's ok though, it's not nearly as bad as the first 2 weeks.
Breastfeeding is so rewarding in spite of all of the challenges. Sometimes you squeal and start snorting when you open your mouth wide, it's adorable. I love looking down at you and seeing your little nose pressed against my breast, and your tiny little fingers touching me. You take soft little breaths and sometimes even sigh softly. Once in a while you will look up at me, but mostly you just fall asleep. Sometimes you are holding my thumb tightly in your tiny fist, and you enjoy hooking your big toe in my belly button when we're lying down.
Last week I was nursing you belly to belly in bed and you fell asleep as usual. I detached you from my breast and rolled onto my back where you slept in your usual spot in my armpit. A few hours later I woke up to movement and slurping.. well my breasts were full and had started to dribble, running milk down my sides. Apparently you wiggled and scooched yourself against me and were sort of slurping the milk off my skin. I thought it was the most adorable thing ever while also thinking how amazing it was that an infant so young could make sure she got her nourishment.
During the first couple weeks of your life, before I got better at figuring out why you were crying, I would get so upset when you cried. Daddy had to pull the car over a couple of times so I could climb into the back seat and take you out of your car seat. I ended up crying myself and sprinkled your head with my tears.
Yesterday Daddy was making silly noises at you while I held you in my lap. You burst into one of the biggest intentional smiles yet! (So far most of them have been in your sleep.) Your dad about floated out of the house on his way to work and I got tears in my eyes. You are so small and you have so much power in you to make your parents so darned happy.
You had your 4 week check up on Wednesday. You are 22.5 inches long, which puts you in the 98th percentile of height (surprise surprise..), and 9lbs 10oz. So many changes in such a short time! I can hardly wait to see what the next month has in store. You will have doubled your life!
You've only been in my life for one short month, but it feels like a life time. I can no longer imagine my life without you in it. I would miss you so much. You mean the world to me. I love you my baby girl.